I had a profound experience with the herd that I want to share. It was deeply moving and the truth that emerged is still reverberating in my soul. It is vulnerable for me to share, but what I know, and trust is that while it is my experience, someone else may be helped by it too. The horses invited me to be fully present, in my body, and held space for me. In the exchange, I accessed my soul and the deep truth there. It was such a gift.
Here is my journaling of the experience and the truth from my soul:
I went to the horses with a question, and they gave me answers. Or a better way to say it - they stood by me as I uncovered my own answers and helped me see, hear, feel and know the answers deeply.
Bonnie greeted first right away as I entered the paddock. Stood there and invited me to pet her for longer than usual. Then she stepped away & Sweetie came up. Stood there & let me pet her for a few seconds then walked away.
I went to the center of the paddock to sit on the mounting block, journal in hand. I sat with my question asking for direction. The sun was warm, the wind quiet. The horses each on their own. Harley sat outside the paddock surveying the area. I sat, inviting my truth to emerge in its time. Breathing deep, slow. Focus on my heart. Warm, open, inviting. Curious. Open.
Sweetie ate remnants of hay while Bonnie & Clyde stood face to face quite close to each other. Then Bonnie moved to the shade of the shelter.
Clyde turned to face me. Yawn, lick and chew. A minute later yawn, lick and chew.
Another yawn, lick and chew.
“Don’t go backwards – move forward toward my dream, my calling. My work to offer the world.”
More yawning, licking chewing looking right at me.
Kiona, the barn cat, strolled through the paddock, past Clyde and straight to me on the mounting block. Meowing, rubbing and then up into my lap. Urging me to pet her. Don’t stop.
“There are people who want what I have to offer.” “Love, warmth, nurture.”
Clyde continued to yawn. “Let go” I hear.
Sweetie walked right by us, stopped a short distance away and peed. “Keep releasing.”
Kiona kneaded her claws digging through my pants into my skin. “Set a boundary.” Off she went.
What do I need to believe?
“I am worthy. I deserve respect. Claim what I need and want.”
Companionship. Respect. Mutuality. Plenty. Freedom. Genuine. Contentment. Love. Generosity. Nurture. Peace. Harmony. Determination/Persistence.
Clyde moved to where Sweetie had been eating. Bonnie nearby. Both nibbling random bits of hay leftover from lunch. Sweetie got a big drink of water. Kiona came back to the lap.
“People want what I have.”
“No compromising of me – my needs, value, values, gifts.”
“Let go of any idea about how it should look.”
“Relax, be alert, no pushing. Be open-hearted, open-minded. Be authentic. Rest some. Play some.”
Sweetie walked right up to me. Head low. “Just be.” Kiona jumped down.
Sweetie’s head at my head level. Forehead to forehead. Her head on my shoulder. Breathing in my ear.
Then Sweetie turns around, her butt right to me. Laugh!
“Allow others in to help me heal. Receive. Trust. Ask for what I want and need.”
I stroked her butt, hips, upper legs. Light. Deep. Long strokes. Massage. She shifted occasionally.
Lots of farting… “Let go of what I don’t need or want.”
More butt stroking. She kept moving a step at a time. Keep stroking.
“Shift and pivot. Don’t compromise.”
“Tend the wounds.”
Persistence. “Ask for what I need. Let go of doubt.” “People want what I have to offer. Stop doubting. Embrace my gifts.”
Gentle. Deep. Keep noticing what is needed. Sit. Stand. Move. Move forward. Back up.
Face to Face. Trust. Ask. Receive. Steady. Laugh. Play. Be serious. Feel. Explore.
I had a headache most of today. It’s gone. Warmth in my heart. Slow deep-ish breaths. So quiet. Peaceful. “There is no hurry. Go at my pace. Pay attention to the invitations.”
“I am just fine. We are just fine. We have our own calling.
Do what pleases me, not others all the time.
Serve my people. People want what I have to offer.”
Sweetie might have let me stroke her butt the rest of the afternoon. It’s ok to listen to my needs and stop when I need to.
Grateful. Hugs. Kisses. Licking and chewing. Quiet.